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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in DennyDen's LiveJournal:

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Monday, November 5th, 2001
10:54 pm
Hey All....whats goin on! Nothing fun and exciting here...thats for sure. Spent my whole weekend out and about. I went to the club Friday-Sunday nights...I had a good time. Met this kid Mike and he's cool and all but he calls me like 5 times a day...a little needy I think. Anyway, he sleeps with his best friend on like a weekly basis, so Im a little shaky on that. I dunno....thats about all really. I worked today and it is cold as a mother fucker here. OK...thats all for now.
Tuesday, October 30th, 2001
10:10 am
Whoa! Long time no journal!!!
HEY!!!! OMG! It has been like forever since I wrote in this journal! A lot has changed..for the better! I have lost 25 pounds and have actually gotten into decent shape! I'm still single, but have a had a few short dating things. Oh well, I am satisfied with what I have! I go to the gym 6 days a week, and get sex in the sauna occasionally! LOL but dont worry...I always play safe! I go to the club weekly and have met quite a few awesome people that I count as my friends. I have changed jobs and now I work with Mentally Disabled adults, which is cool. I work a lot of hours but its worth it. Anyway, thats about all really. Send me a little note and let me know what is going on in your lives! Talk to ya'll soon!!

Thursday, June 28th, 2001
12:27 am
HEY!!!! I uploaded a picture! Aint I ugly? Anyways, thanks everqu33r for helping me...your great!! Tell me what you think of my pic...hot or not....
12:11 am
Howdy! Well, it's ben a weird week. I started my new job and that is going spectacularly! I have what I consider to be 2 really close friends. There both gay and I love both of them to pieces. One is Tony. Funny thing about how Tony and I met. Well, I was a clerk at a convenience store, I was like 16. Tony came in one night and we hooked up. I put up my little sign that said, Restocking the cooler...be right back! and I took him into the cooler and well yea....and then I ran into him again about 2 years ago and we have actually just gotten to be real close within the last year or so. Anway, he lives in Provincetown for the summer so he is gone and I don't have him to talk to. Next is Jeff...you all read about him before when I had a little crushy poo on him. Well, I met Jeff through Tony, but I actually knew him in grade school. Well, he and Tony are in a tiff now cuz Jeff is back with Rob, his old boo. Well, I dont know Rob and I dont really want to know ROb becasue of some of the things that I have heard about him. I just think extremely highly of Jeff...I mean is weird and a little gross, but he is beautiful...inside and out. He is one of the sweetest guys I know and he is a real catch...any guy would be lucky to have him, I just think it is unfortunate that the one guy who does have him treats him like shit. Anyway, I told Jeff...if Rob is what makes him happy than I am happy for him. If things dont work out, I will be there for him, and so will tony even though he says he wont. So that has kinda been shitty on my week. Today, I come home to a note from my roomate that her dad is real sick and she has to go back to Ohio. No phone numbers or anything, I am so worried for her. I hope she made it back to Ohio OK. Next is Billy. I know you all remember the Marine. Well, we have been talking a lot the past few months and I am in love with him...I decided this while he was away last week. The fact that I got a blow job from a stranger and all I could think about was Billy. Anyway, I wrote him this letter and told him how I felt. I mailed it today. He calls me this morning and tels me that he just got back from North Carolina and that he bought a house down there. He is moving to NC in 3 weeks. I am so sad right now....no one cares!!! Ugh! OK, well Im off to bed....long day tomorrow!!


Current Mood: confused
Sunday, June 24th, 2001
11:06 pm
I just watched the Season Finale of Queer As Folk...now...sad enough that it is the last episode till January, but Brian...who I HATED, I like him now!! I won't tell you all what happened in case you plan on watching it, but I will say that I am crying hysterically. It brought so much reality into this world, it's sad. Oh I cant wait till January. Now Blake...if your out there....stop doing drugs cuz your so hot! LOL....Bye for now!

Current Mood: sad
5:56 pm
OK, so last night, it was late and I was tired, so I forgot to mention that the great blow job...was given OUTSIDE the bar, Which I am so sure that most of youfigured out once I said it started to downpour! HA! Thanks Shawn! Love you! OK, so it gets better and I think I forgot to mention this. Well...If you read further back in my journal, you would have read about Ken. Ken was a school teacher that I dated. He swept me off of my feet, told me everything that I wanted, needed to hear. Then he dumped me...was like, please, I could never be seriously interested in you! UGH, that bastard. Well anyway, I saw him at the club Friday and wouldnt give him the time of day...that pissed him off. So when I started talking to Tim, you know...wonder boy...that made Ken so mad! Anyway, after Tim and I were finished "talking" I turned the corner and Ken was there....he was livid. I was just like...HI with a big smile on my face...I was like see you later! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!! What goes around comes around baby....a big bite...right in the ass! Heehee...Im such a cunt! Love you guys!
Saturday, June 23rd, 2001
11:56 pm
Hi Everyone!!! I havent written in a long time cuz no one was replying to my journal, but then I figured...what the fuck...who cares! I know that people, well some of you, read this maybe Im just boring but you know what?? OH WELL!!! I am going to continue posting cuz it makes me feel better to vent and feel like the world is listening!!

OK Shawn this is for you!!!

Here is my one story for you all!! I went to the gay club last night...I didn't go in with any expectations cuz I always get hurt! Well, I noticed this kid checkin me out, cuz Im fine and all, but anyway...I really didnt talk to him...I went and danced and had a good time. Well, at the end of the night, I went to talk to my friend Erycah who was chatting with that boy and my friend Pedro. Well, Pedro introduced me to this kid...his name was Tim. So we chatted for a few minutes and then Erycah left. Shortly afterwards Pedro left. That left just me and Tim talking for a few minutes. Tim was like, well I gotta go and he gave me a hug and a kiss, on the lips. I started to walk away and Tim yelled to me, "Hey!" I walked over to him at his car and he was like, "Give me your number" I was like OK and he gave me his. We sat down and chatted for like another 10-15 minutes. I was like OK, Im leaving now. I leaned over and gave him a kiss...he grabbed me and pulled me to him. He kissed me, hard....and long! We kissed for like 10 minutes and then he went for the neck...Oh My God!!! I was so fuckin horny and then he hit it....thats my spot!!! We kept on kissing and then....next thing I knew my pants were down at my ankles and he was going down on me. IT WAS TERRIFIC!! He gave such good head, I was ready to cum. It was insane, I came down his throat and he just kept on sucking. I pulled him to me and kissed him. I grabbed his cock and jerked him off. It was so hot...all of the sudden it started to downpour, I love the rain, I think it is so sexy. I was getting so turned on and He went back down on me, and I came again...he said he wanted to watch me shoot, I shot alright! All over his face and his shirt. It was so funny...his face was like....DAMN! I shot my big load all over his black shirt. We kissed again for a few minutes, and I left. He was like, that was incredible.
Now, I am not a slut by any means...I just needed some and it happened, and It was GREAT! Now...the next question is...will he call?? Prob not, but hey...thats OK! So..guys...how was this, I know its one of those things...you have to be there, but I was and trust me...it was GREAT!!! Have a good day!

Current Mood: accomplished
Friday, June 8th, 2001
8:27 pm
Throwing in the towel....
Well....after writing in my journal for about 2 months, I am ditching it. It is frustrating sharing your thoughts and knowing that pretty much nobody gives a shit, cuz NO ONE writes back except my Jeffrey...thanks baby. Well...have fun!
Wednesday, June 6th, 2001
10:52 pm
Welcome Home???
Wow...it has been areally long time since I have posted. The sad part is nothing has changed! I am still single...jobless and fucked up! I don't know what my problem is...for real. I don't know why I am so depressed all the time. I mean, I have an awesome family and my mom loves me a lot and I have a few close friends. I have been hanging out with Jeff and Tony a lot more lately. I enjoy their company most of the time. They do a lot of weird things that I wouldn't do, but we always have fun when we are together. It's just weird, cuz sometimes I feel like they are such good friends and I don't belong in that group. You know, I mean, they never try to ditch me or anything, but part of me feels like they are best friends and I am a third wheel. I totally made an ass out of myself with Jeffrey, I basically threw myself at him, got dissed hard core and now I am supposed to deal with being friends with him. I tell him all the time that I am over him, and I am, but sometimes its so hard because I am still attracted to him so much!
I have bee nto the club a few times, last week was fun, I had a good time. I met afriend of mine from my old job, and we hung out. He left early, so I was just chillin. I started hangin out with these girls, and we just had a blast. There was this really adorable couple there, you could tell it was new love for them, cuz they were all about eachother. The one that I thought was really hot came over and danced with me. It was weird, cuz I knew he was with his b/f but I couldn't help but wanna get with him right there on the spot! I dunno...it was all good...I told him that he and his b/f were adorable, and he was like thanks baby. It was cute. I worked on the ambulance last weekend, it was slow...nothing too exciting to write about. I met this guy Erik this week, and it was really cool. We went out for lunch, and we ended up having sex. UGH....kills me! I didn't want to do that but I got caught up in the heat of the moment. By the way, when I say sex, I mean oral. Anyway, he is 12 years older than me...and I feel bad, cuz I am just not interested in him anymore. I want to fall in love so bad that it hurts. Seriously, I have such an empty feeling that it kills me. I was talking to Matt about suicide and I think it pissed him off. Not that I am thikning about doing it, but it would just seem so easy, but then I think about it and so many people's lives would be ruined cuz they never got to meet me! HA! Well, ok Im off to watch Girl Interrupted. Take Care folks...write me soon, I hope you missed me, but I doubt you did. :) MS Ribble party of 1.........laterz

Current Mood: blah
Thursday, May 31st, 2001
2:31 pm
Monday, May 28th, 2001
1:53 am
Aaargh!!! Love Sucks! Well lack of it anyway!
I went to the club tonight against my better judgement! I wish now, that I stayed home. It was drag night so I was talking with some of my queens, when one lady introduced me to her friend. We were talking and stuff and this really cute guy was like hitting on me and stuff. As sleezy as it was, it made me feel good and he was a cutie...nice bod! Anyway, the kid I was talking to left so I was chillin with this guy who tried to pick me up. Well, we talked and he was there with like 6 of his friends, who were all hot might I add....anyway his friend Jason comes up to me and is like...dude...his boyfriend is standing right over thereand is not pleased that your flirting with his man. So, I was like...is this High School...so I ignored the guy who was hitting on me...then he came over and said to me..My boyfriend and I want to have a 3 some with you. I WAS LIKE YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKED!!!!
So, I declined, but I did want to suck him off...badly...but I was a good boy, cuz Im the virgin Mary! He and his boyfriend left and I was talking to the other guys. They are all couples and have been together for years, not to mention how fuckin yummy and adorable they were. POINT you ask? Well, I'm pissed!!! I was like, I want a relationship so bad!!! Of course, there reaction was....Your only 22...go out and enjoy life, have sex...EWWWW!!! NO!I can't have meaningless sex....I just can't! I mean, the occasional b/j is OK, but NO! My question is this! Why can't I, a mature 22 year old find love? I fall way too fast and hard all the time...why for once...can't it be returned! And then you've got this couple who has been in a relationship for awhile and they want to have a 3-some? Where is the morals and values? I mean to each their own, and if 3-somes are your thing, no offense, but it's not for me....OK, well Im blabbing now cuz it's 2:30 AM and I am exhausted, o ignore me please, most of you do anyway!! Other than that I will write more tomorrow when I am less tired and drunk G'nite!

Current Mood: aggravated
Friday, May 25th, 2001
8:50 pm
No sah...not really, I just havent written in awhile so I thought I would drop a line. Crazy times...I gave my notice at my full time job and they told me to go home that day! ARGH! They paid me for 2 weeks though so I am on vacation! I have an interview on Tuesday so hopefully that will go well!!! Went over Jeff's last night...we played scrabble. NICE! Was supposed to go see a stripper tonight, BUT someone died and i had to go to a wake! I met a new boi today..real nice guy, but it's gonna be a freinds thing...oh well...typical. Other than that...my regular ambulance riding weekend is coming up! YAY! Goodnight everyone, it's time for Denny to go to bed :) Peace and Love and if your hot maybe a kiss too!! HA! G'nite!

Current Mood: chipper
Monday, May 21st, 2001
9:28 am
My weekend!
Wow! It has been so long since I have written in this thing. I get so busy during the week that I forget and when I do remember I just want to spend my spare time napping. This last weekend was pretty uneventful. I went out to a str8 club Friday night for one of my friends birthday. I got so trashed!!! I was so drunk that it wasnt even funny! I called all of my friends at like 3 in the morning when I was on my way homeno, I wasnt driving! I didnt get to bed until 4 AM and I had to be up to work on the ambulance at 7AM.my first call was a vomiting old woman. I promised God I would never do it again! Saturday went by without incident, it was so ridiculously slowwe had like 2 calls. I went home on Sat and went to bed to get up at 4 AM to do it all again on Sunday. Well, of course being the smart guy that I amI didnt set my alarm clock, so my watch alarm went off at 5:00.AAAHHH!!!! I needed to be in Milton which is at least 45 minutes away in 15 minutes, never mind time for a shower and to get dressed. WellDAMN! Im goodmade it showered, shaven and clean by 5:45!
What an awesome shift I had yesterday, I worked a 16 hour double with a dyke! It was so much fun!! I met a really HOT nurse and was in Heaven for a brief period. I did CPR up the wazoo too. It was too weirdo of a day. However, it did make me realize that my problems are less and less so maybe this job will work out for me. I am leaving WG, my full time job because I got a better job offer with more chance of potential! So, well just wait and see. Have a terrific Day!!!
Thursday, May 17th, 2001
4:33 pm
I had one of the worst anxiety attacks that I have ever had today. There is just so much shit going on in my life right now and it finally all caught up with me. I am still having it, just thinking about it. I start to get sick to my stomach and then my eyes start to bother me, and then I get a really bad headache and the shakes. I puked for like 10 minutes straight and I am still sitting here right now dry heaving, but there is nothing left. I dont know why I let this shit bother me so much. Bills and my sucky ass jobI just cant take it anymore. My imagination gets the best of me all the time and I always feel like something is wrong with me, no matter what. I always think the worst. I am in the process of looking for a new job. Its so funny, I can ride on the back of an ambulance all day long and have no problems, but the minute I step foot into this office, I cant take my life. Part of me wishes that I could just go to sleep for a long time. This is the worst. I am going home now, pray that I make it home safe.Bye for now.

Current Mood: and Pukey
Wednesday, May 16th, 2001
8:59 am
My Challenge!
You know, its so funny. As I look back on this wonderful road called life that I have travelled in the past 22 years, there is so much that I dont remember. Sure, I remember some good times and some not so good times, but thats about all. My friend Juliettes house burned down on Monday, and she lost everything. Thank God that her 2 boys were safe and that they got everyone else out of the building, but they lost everything. I cant even imagineI mean, yea, there were times when I was pissed that I didnt have the cool clothes to wear or when Mom made us eat leftovers, but I NEVER EVER had to worry about where my next meal was going to come from, or if I was going to have clothes to wear. I was so lucky to have parents that did all of the worrying for me. I dont know what I would do in Juliettes situation. She is a single mother of two boys who now has NO clothes and no food and is staying at her moms house. God Bless Her. We had a collection going for her here yesterday and we collected about $720.00 and that was great. We were able to get some new clothes for the kids and some clothes for her. I guess she was really touched. My heart has been aching for her the past few days so bad that I get sick to my stomach at times. She has like 3 best friends here at work that have done so much for her, its amazing to me. I hope that if something like that ever happens to me thatt here will be people around for me like they were there for her. She will be staying at there house and everything. That just showed me that we should all take a step back and evaluate our liveslook for who and what is important. That is my challenge to you. Dont let the meaningless shit get you downits so not worth it. I do it all the time. I sit and whine and moan and complain, that all of my money goes to my bills, and that I sit around and do nothing on Friday nights, and I dont have a boyfriend, and I drive a random car, and Im not 100% happy in my job, and I dont always have the nicest clothes but you know what?? That is SO MEANINGLESS!!! When I get to heaven I dont think that God is going to say to me that since I drove a KIA I cant get to heaven! Take the dayrelax and enjoy life!

Current Mood: contemplative
Monday, May 14th, 2001
8:51 am
Well Hello! Welcome to my world! Its been a long weekend. I had to work Saturday from 5AM until 9:30 PM and then again Sunday from 9AM until 5:30 PM. This could work out to be the career of choice for me, but then again maybe not.
So, listen to this. Almost a year and a half ago, I was an acting RA on my dorm floor at school. Well, it is against school rules to drink, smoke and do drugs. It was a Christian school that I liked very much so dont knock it. Anyway, you had to sign a contract saying that you wouldnt do these things, but if you did and were caught you would face expulsion. Well anyway, one night this kid was stumbling down the hall and was stoned as all get out. I asked him about it and then told the RA when he got back about it. The short story, the kid turned himself in and turned in all 6 of his friends. They all got kicked out of school. Ever since that I have been harassed. They broke into my car, they broke into my dorm room, Ive been in fights Ive had literature sent around school about me. Its crazy. Well, Im not out to my school friends, which is my choice. This girl IMs me last night and tells me that she is finally going to get me, that she has evidence that I am gay and supposedly they are pictures. So, I wonder what they are, but supposedly she is going to pass them around school. Part of me is like, go ahead and another part of me is likearghthis girl is going to make me look badreal bad. I hate it when people talk about me! So, I guess Im really glad that I came out to my family before all of this happens, if it happens. I also filed another police report against her and all kinds of stuff. Alright well, its too early to be at work, but Im herewith bells on. I have another 2 days left of training.I just want to go to bed. Have a great day!!

Current Mood: anxious
Friday, May 11th, 2001
10:36 pm
I'm so tired...but I can't sleep
This sucks!!! It is 10:30 and I should have been asleep an hour ago!I don't like having to get up at 4 AM. I wish I had someone to curl up next to...but then again I wouldnt be sleeping...HA! OK, well thats about all for now....unfortunately! Nice to see some new faces! Ta Ta for now....maybe I'll meet some cute boys tomorrow....Bye!
3:47 pm
Things could always be worse.....
I guess I am doing better today. I am still a little frustrated today and wishing I had a man, but that's OK, things could be worse. I could have no job, no place to live, no family, nothing. It's sad cuz working in Boston on the ambulance I deal with a lot of smelly, alcoholic homeless people and it kinda reminds me that I should be proud of who I am. Sometimes I think that I am so lucky and other times I feel so sorry for myself. DUH. Everyone responds with like, aww come on....if I wanted a pity party I would ask for one, people...these are my real feelings and I am just voicing them. I wish the answer to my problems was as simple as going to a club and getting wasted...unfortunately it isn't. OK, well I have about 45 minutes left of work and then I have to go home and do some laundry and stuff, I have to work a double on the truck tomorrow from 5 AM until 9 PM....ARGH! and then I am supposedly going to meet up with Jeffrey and TOny but I doubt that it will happen. OK well enjoy your Friday night...I'll probably post more later.

Peace and Love,


Current Mood: crappy
Thursday, May 10th, 2001
11:14 pm
OH FUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello. I am very mopey right now and I hate my life and I'll tell you why. Number one...this fuckin journal thing pisses me off cuz NO ONE replies to my journal and that makes me mad. ANyway, #2...I am so sick to death of being gay. Girls hit on me all the time and I so wish that their tits and twats did something for me, cuz my life would be so much easier. I keep falling in love with people that either A. Have a man and are very happy and I have NO chance (Brian) B. Are gay they just don't know it yet (The other Brian) Or C. have been hurt in a relationship either just recently or not and they don't want a commitment or D. This is the best one..they just flat out arent interested in me. I am SO FUCKING SICK OF IT...I am not the kind of guy that goes and sleeps around, contrary to popular belief, Tony. i just want to be in love and for one time be loved back. Apparently this is too much to ask for. The boy in my training class that I thought was gay, guess what? He's not, he's got a girlfriend and is very str8, but he is the nicest guy and of course I fell in like with him too. Another one I can't have. I am busting my ass working and not getting ahead, I come home from work and check my voice mail...nothing...it's a hard realization when you come to the conclusion that you have NO friends because you aren't interested in the things that they do. I am 22, I should be out having fun and drinking and maybe doing drugs instead of busting my ass and working my ass off so that I don't have to be a burden on my mother. I also should be out trying all different kinds of guys to see what I like...NO! I want to date, not fuck around. Argh...I can't believe that I am a 22 year old male sitting in my apt on a Thirsty Thursday night writing my life on the fucking internet for everyone and there brother to read crying hysterically....LIFE SUCKS and frankly, I don't want to live it anymore. Now don't worry, Im not going to commit suicide, I can't I have too many bills and they would still come after me even if Im dead. I guess my one wish in this world would be that people, the people that I call my friends cared as much about me as I do about them. When they talk to me about their problems, I take them home with me at night, their problems that is. When Italk to them about mine, they always have something better to do. Fuck it...Im going to bed. Goodnight......

Current Mood: disappointed
Tuesday, May 8th, 2001
10:02 pm
Oh the drama queen has some more news to share with the Soap Opera fans! I got an email from Jeff tonight, and he said that he just wants to be friends with me. He just got out of a bad relationship, and although I have known him for a long time, I have really only known him for a week. So, I will relax and just wait and see what develops and enjoy his friendship even though he is so irresistable! He said I was cute...I melted! Anyway, enough about that...
So, I had another night of training for my EMT job and there was this boy there and he like went out of his way to talk to me...of course I am the only fag in the class. He laughed at me cuz I was like I always get lost on the way home...he was like, Oh...just follow me. I was like...absolutely!HA! He stopped to talk to me for a few minutes...and was like...it's very nice to meet you...hmmm.......strange? Maybe Im not the only fag in the class..... OK, have fun...Im going to bed...still sick...no work again tomorrow.,..

Current Mood: frustrated
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